Once upon a time a developer went to a conference called Google I/O.

The first day was great, lots for conversations with smart folks.

On the second day, the developer realized that they forgot their badge at home during the 40 minute drive to the conference.

Not to worry or turn around, the developer thought. Just like all the conferences the developer had attended before, with proper ID they will surely let him in.

Arriving at the event, the developer walked to the help desk.

Developer: “Please help. I left my badge at home and I need a new one.”

Google: “Sorry, we cannot help you, our systems do not support printing two badges.”

The developer asked for someone else, and then someone else and then someone else.  Finally, the developer got to someone that seemed like they could make something happen.

Developer: “Who do you need to hear from in order to let me in the conference? If you got an email from [unnamed Google executive] would that do it?”

Google: “You can do whatever you like, we won’t help you.”

The developer was somewhat upset at this point. Not only did the “system limitation” make no technical sense, but Google seemed to forget that the developer spent money to attend the conference, that the developer likely talked to lots of other developers; they seemed to forget that customers, particularly developers matter.

The developer knew some Google folks at the I/O, so he sent some email and made a call.

The developer got a response quickly. This Google employee was helpful (you know who you are) and told the developer what might work to get him in the conference without driving for another 80 minutes.

The developer went back in the conference with this new information. The developer talked to one person and then another and then another — finally to reach someone that really worked for Google and had the authority to make something happen.

Developer: “I talked to [unnamed, but helpful Google employee].  They told me if I showed you my confirmation letter, you may be able to let me in the conference.”

Google: “Nope. He should know better. I am going to call him.”

Google goes off to call unnamed (but helpful) Google employee.  Google can’t get in touch with unnamed (but helpful) employee, comes back and says “Left him a voice mail, but I can’t print you a badge.”

Developer: “Why not?”

Google: “Our systems cannot print out two badges.”

Developer: “Ok. Write my name on a piece of paper and put it in the holder.”

Google: “No.”

Developer: “So, I need to drive back to Silicon Valley? Really?”

Google: “I have sent people back to Holland for forgetting their badges.”

The above line was said with pride. Really. Now, the developer suspected that it was said with the sort of pride one feels when they are trying to show their power in a conversation, not with the pride of being malicious toward someone intentionally, but that is a nuance thing.

Developer: “What if [unnamed Google executive] forgot their badge?”

Google: “[unnamed Google executive] would not forget their badge.”

The developer loved this response. Google was basically calling him an idiot, which clearly he was for forgetting his badge, but more so because the developer believed that a company like Google that wanted to attract developers to their platform (or to work at their company) would never treat attendees this way.

Developer: “Ok, I see how it is going to be, but I don’t understand. What are you trying to prevent?”

Google: “It is against our policy.”

Developer: “But why?”

Google: “I can’t have our conference staff printing out badges all the time for people that forget.”

Developer (motioning to all the conference staff just sitting around): “There are lot of folks doing nothing, can’t one of them do it?”

Google: “No.”

Developer: “Is there anything we can do?”

Google: “You can call one of your friends at Google and use their badge. Or you can get someone else you know to give you their badge.”

Developer: “Really? Doesn’t that defeat the whole point of badges?”

Google: “No.”

The developer was very confused at this stage, but he was an idiot, so you would suspect that.

Developer: “Ok, I have a workaround, but it doesn’t make any sense, I really want to confirm that I can get anyone’s badge and just walk in.”

Google: “Yes, everyone is doing it.”

The developer keep wondering if this violated the policy too. That logical flaw didn’t seem to trouble Google. The developer wondered what would happen if every attendee gave their badge to a homeless person on the street during lunch time. Would Google think that was ok?

The developer shook the hand of Google. Thanked them. Walked away.

You can draw your own conclusions from this story. It is only one-side. I am sure Google would have a different take, but the developer will not be attending I/O again (save perhaps to organize that badge swap with the needy of San Francisco).

Update:

The above was a summary.  For example, I saw Scoble during these events and actually used him as an example to ensure that I understood the badge swaping process.  In addition, I accepted my defeat (although I had several offers to use others badges), went home and back (80 minutes exactly), so I could get my hands on the HTC phone.  It is a fairly interesting device.

Thanks to the Google folks that have reached out to me as a result of this post.  Reaffirms my respect for most Google employees (I have many friends that work at Google).

I fully understand why they have this policy; to ensure that I didn’t give my badge to someone else.  There are lots of ways to check for that.  Further and most importantly, you need to start from a position of trust, particularly with a paying customer, especially in the tightly nit developer community.

I often hear folks talk about 100k miles, but that is not all that tangible to me.

I was thinking that the circumference of the Earth (~40,000 kilometers/~25,000 miles) seems like a much better way to calibrate distance flown.

Two obvious names came to mind: Magellan or Eratosthenes.

Magellan it is.

It looks like I am going to end the year with around 4 magellans in the air.

How many magellans will you fly this year?

Each year there is a different cohort of people that I am with.

Back in 2007 it was Don Box, Mike Abbott, and Brad Lovering, among others.

Last year, it was Dennis Pilarinos.

This year it is all me in the waters of the Pacific Ocean, although my brother waded a little to take pictures, for which I am thankful.

Now if you think this ritual is strange, I can add to that by talking about the importance of water purification and honoring the archetype of the Roman god Janus (where January comes from).

But I will forgo that and just show some pictures.

Next year I am going surfing.

From EcoGeek.org

Lori Marino at Emory University is taking a scientific approach to determining how human dolphi[n]s are. She’s simply running them through an MRI and measuring the complexity of their brains. The result, unsurprisingly, is that dolphins are extremely smart. Their brains, according to Emory, are more complex than any other non-human brain, beating out Chimpanzees for the title.

The question that post raises is how this fact should impact the way that treat dolphins and the ethics associated with that.

My question is a little more in depth, as I would love to question the fundamental values that led us to believe that (generally) humans are more valuable than dolphins.

As absurd as it may seem, ask yourself the question, “Why am I more valuable than a dolphin?” and then follow the chain down to your axiomatic values.

You may think that has a simple answer, but under careful scrutiny you end up with a teleological question and those sorts of questions are very hard indeed.

That aside, I think it is wonderful that we are getting some quant that we can use to determine the intelligence of a given non-human species.

New Fang: Them Crooked Vultures

Mind Eraser, No Chaser: Them Crooked Vultures

See You: Dinosaur Jr.

Catch & Release: Silversun Pickups

Best I Ever Had: Drake

Panic Switch: Silversun Pickups

Stillborn (Acoustic Version): Black Label Society

Check My Brain: Alice In Chains

Black Gives Way to Blue (Piano Mix): Alice In Chains

Run This Town (feat. Rihanna & Kanye West): Jay-Z

First two from http://scifiwire.com/2009/10/secret-photo-reveals-dart.php.  Last one from me.

I am starting to tell people outside of the company now (I think Dion was the first), so I’ll just create a post.

After PDC 2009 (you should go, it is going to be great), I’ll be moving back to the Valley again.

Same team, same technology, same sort of work (slightly different focus), but with different location.

These means more time at my favorite coffee shop and hopefully getting Microsoft into some the parties that we aren’t invite to right now (and maybe starting a few of our own).

Alec Baldwin plays the perfect asshole (rivaled only by his “I am God” performance in Malice), but this doesn’t take away from the power of the scene or of the acting.

The look on Jack Lemon’s face when Alec Baldwin pulls out the brass balls says it all.

I am doing this experiment for two reasons.  First, I want to better understand how the ad funding model works (I know enough about it to be dangerous).  Second, I want to make some money.

Strictly speaking, I don’t need the money.  By all objective standards, I have enough.  By the subjective standards of most of the world, I have more than my fair share.  By my standards, I get a bill every month for the server hosting this blog and I want some way to offset it.  Another way to put it: Hobbies should pay for themselves (and maybe make a little extra).

So what have I learned so far?

1. People don’t like ads.  At least they don’t some to like the ads being served for my content.  Or I suppose people don’t like my content.
2. Feed ads pay.  They really do.  Feed ads seems to have a +10 hit point advantage in the ad campaign universe.  I can guess why, but if you know exactly why please add a comment, as it will help me understand this space better (and maybe make my content so compelling, someone will click on an ad).

I am going to keep running this experiment for a while.  I am thinking about trying different content approachs and ad placement to see if there is some coorelation (and potential causation) with the ad click rate.  We’ll see how it goes.

I am tired of fighting.  Our chiefs are killed.  Looking Glass is dead.  Toohulhulsote is dead.  The old men are all dead.  It is the young men who say yes or no. He who led the young men is dead.

It is cold and we have no blankets.  The little children are freezing to death.  My people, some of them, have run away to the hills and have no blankets, no food.  No one knows where they are–perhaps freezing to death.

I want to have time to look for my children and see how many I can find.  Maybe I shall find them among the dead.

Hear me, my chiefs.  I am tired.  My heart is sick and sad.  From where the sun now stands, I will fight no more forever.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chief_Joseph

From http://www.fastcompany.com/profile-blog/our-deepest-fear:

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.

The title of this post is from someone else however…

I was using wordpress.com for hosting previously, but I decided to move to a different provider so I could have more control over the environment.

I had considering asking the WordPress folks to give me a little more control, but I decided this that it was better option to get ssh access some place.  That and the fact that Scoble, who I pinged to figure out how he worked his magic on his site, didn’t get back to me until this week.  Apparently he only answers email when outside the US.

Long story short, I got myself my first official LAMP hoster.  I have always used Windows Server hosting before.  After a long selection process  (actually I just wrote a random selection program, as that has as much chance of making a ‘good’ selection as reading all the google searches in the world), I selected Media Template aka (mt).  I suppose that they use (mt) as their name since they are based out of LA, making them automatically hip and therefore legally entitled to use just shortcuts.

After a quick setup, I configured MySQL and a Wordpress instance.  (mt) only has 2.3 or some ancient version available as a 1-click install, so I needed to do my own 2.7 install.  I then moved all my content over.  It was completely trivial (as trivial as working remotely over ssh can be).  Really.

Well, not really.  One issue that remains is the fact that my images are still on the wordpress.com site, as they are not part of the generalized export/import.  But other than that, really.

I have to tell you that this experience is calling into question some basic assumptions that I have had around how the software industry is going to work over the course of the next couple of years.  More on that later (as I think more or I just forget it and you do too).

I really encourage you to read the entire thing and consider these questions at the end:  What do you value?  Why?  If you could create your own value system for humanity, what would it be?  What would the goal of humanity be?

Many lands saw Zarathustra, and many peoples: thus he discovered the good and bad of many peoples. No greater power did Zarathustra find on earth than good and bad.

No people could live without first valuing; if a people will maintain itself, however, it must not value as its neighbour valueth.

Much that passed for good with one people was regarded with scorn and contempt by another: thus I found it. Much found I here called bad, which was there decked with purple honours.

Never did the one neighbour understand the other: ever did his soul marvel at his neighbour’s delusion and wickedness.

A table of excellencies hangeth over every people. Lo! it is the table of their triumphs; lo! it is the voice of their Will to Power.

It is laudable, what they think hard; what is indispensable and hard they call good; and what relieveth in the direst distress, the unique and hardest of all,—they extol as holy.

Whatever maketh them rule and conquer and shine, to the dismay and envy of their neighbours, they regard as the high and foremost thing, the test and the meaning of all else.

Verily, my brother, if thou knewest but a people’s need, its land, its sky, and its neighbour, then wouldst thou divine the law of its surmountings, and why it climbeth up that ladder to its hope.

“Always shalt thou be the foremost and prominent above others: no one shall thy jealous soul love, except a friend”—that made the soul of a Greek thrill: thereby went he his way to greatness.

“To speak truth, and be skilful with bow and arrow”—so seemed it alike pleasing and hard to the people from whom cometh my name—the name which is alike pleasing and hard to me.

“To honour father and mother, and from the root of the soul to do their will”—this table of surmounting hung another people over them, and became powerful and permanent thereby.

“To have fidelity, and for the sake of fidelity to risk honour and blood, even in evil and dangerous courses”—teaching itself so, another people mastered itself, and thus mastering itself, became pregnant and heavy with great hopes.

Verily, men have given unto themselves all their good and bad. Verily, they took it not, they found it not, it came not unto them as a voice from heaven.

Values did man only assign to things in order to maintain himself—he created only the significance of things, a human significance! Therefore, calleth he himself “man,” that is, the valuator.

Valuing is creating: hear it, ye creating ones! Valuation itself is the treasure and jewel of the valued things.

Through valuation only is there value; and without valuation the nut of existence would be hollow. Hear it, ye creating ones!

Change of values—that is, change of the creating ones. Always doth he destroy who hath to be a creator.

Creating ones were first of all peoples, and only in late times individuals; verily, the individual himself is still the latest creation.

Peoples once hung over them tables of the good. Love which would rule and love which would obey, created for themselves such tables.

Older is the pleasure in the herd than the pleasure in the ego: and as long as the good conscience is for the herd, the bad conscience only saith: ego.

Verily, the crafty ego, the loveless one, that seeketh its advantage in the advantage of many—it is not the origin of the herd, but its ruin.

Loving ones, was it always, and creating ones, that created good and bad. Fire of love gloweth in the names of all the virtues, and fire of wrath.

Many lands saw Zarathustra, and many peoples: no greater power did Zarathustra find on earth than the creations of the loving ones—”good” and “bad” are they called.

Verily, a prodigy is this power of praising and blaming. Tell me, ye brethren, who will master it for me? Who will put a fetter upon the thousand necks of this animal?

A thousand goals have there been hitherto, for a thousand peoples have there been. Only the fetter for the thousand necks is still lacking; there is lacking the one goal. As yet humanity hath not a goal.

But pray tell me, my brethren, if the goal of humanity be still lacking, is there not also still lacking—humanity itself?—

Thus spake Zarathustra.

Perhaps someone has already done it, but I can’t seem to find it.  I am sure that this cannot be a new idea.  I would do it, but I am somewhat “encumbered“.

The next thing I would love to see is a “JSRT” (Javascript Runtime).  Think of this is a x-platform library for important native functions like I/O, etc.

We (Microsoft) already have this with IDispatch and our IActiveScript ECMAScript implementation (FileSystemObject is your friend), but since I spend all my time on Macs at home, I really want something I can use from Terminal.

Net-net, I want a real Javascript REPL and library ecosystem without the browser as the runtime.

It is very bizarre to me that the most used imperative language on the planet (a conjecture) doesn’t have a footprint outside of the browser on any other platform than Windows.  I could be wrong and this already exists someplace and is in use — if so, let me know.

Clearly, this is not the real end state that I would like to see.  I could see the browser using the JSRT too (security model questions clear, but I think about existing security models that I have used including LiveConnect, etc.).  You could see this as an “escape value” for browser implementations that wanted to support “richer” apps.  In my happy little head, you could even go some far as to implement a browser itself in Javascript (shades of Smalltalk, of course).

BTW:  The V8 Embedder’s Guide is quite a good read.  I clearly haven’t coded against the different mechanisms yet (which is the real test), but it seems like a clean design, although I don’t see anything about explicit marshaling or calls from “native” to “managed”, but I imagine that code would make that clear.

the beginning of terror, that we are still able to bear,

and we revere it so, because it calmly disdains

to destroy us.  – Duino Elegies

I have not read Rilke before, but after reading this snip in the Economist, I had to read all ten elgies.

There is so much more here — I have a feeling that I will be studying this for a while.

Earth, is it not this that you want: to rise

invisibly in us? – Is that not your dream,

to be invisible, one day? – Earth! Invisible!

What is your urgent command if not transformation?

Earth, beloved, I will. O, believe me, you need

no more Spring-times to win me: only one,

ah, one, is already more than my blood can stand.

Namelessly, I have been truly yours, from the first.

You were always right, and your most sacred inspiration

is that familiar Death.

See I live. On what? Neither childhood nor future

grows less……Excess of being

wells up in my heart.

A couple of things about this program:

• As a result of our involvement, two laptops are going to children in the developing world.
• Participation in the program allows me to continue to instill in my children the value of doing things for others (although I am very clear with them that it is ultimately in their self-interest to do so).
• It also allows me to educate them on the state of the world outside the our little “bubble”.

A couple of things about the computer & software:

• Both my children and I absolutely love both the hardware and the software.
• They are 5 (5 and 3/4, they tell me) and have had zero issues being “useful” with the device.
• The software includes so many wonderful educational programs (activities in Sugar) that I am simply overwhelmed.
• I know that we (Microsoft) are working to getting XP running on these machines (all I know about it is what I read on the Web), but I personally would prefer that it would be possible to keep the Sugar window manager and apps on top of XP.  It is my judgement that my kids simply could not have made as much progress using explore.exe and the suite of things that we are talking about offering on top of XP.

Net-net, this was the best gift that I could have given my children this year.

One last thing, OLPC really seems to be stepping up their marketing push.  The below is worth checking out.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4b4GkGMiBDQ]

I closed my response to the comments by asking a question that I want to raise in a top-level post.

If we roll the clock forward 200 years, how do we think humanity will communicate quantitative information at a global level?

As a comp, take a quick look at what is going on in 1808.

I don’t consider this a science fiction exercise.

I consider it an exercise in brainstorming what we want the future to be like.

I am a fan of “The Long Now” and “The best way to predict the future is to invent it. Really smart people with reasonable funding can do just about anything that doesn’t violate too many of Newton’s Laws!”

There is a huge debate about how to “run” such a “ship” and what problems we need to address right away, but I would love for us to start with some simple things:

1. Adopt UTC time everywhere on the planet
2. Adopt the metric system (SI) everywhere on the planet

It is just unbelievable to me that I have to spend anytime at all doing time zone and measurement conversions (which I have been doing a lot of lately, so it is top of mind).

Also, I don’t think it is possible for people to work effectively unless they are all communicating using the same mechanisms and metaphors.

The same time and measurement mechanisms would be a great start to getting everyone on the planet “on the same page”.

Of course, that principle begs two other questions.  When do we move to a same currency?  When do we move to the same language (at least one we all agree that everyone should speak)?

I hesitate to even blog about this topic openly as know that these sorts of issues cause one to call into question one’s identity and values in a deep way, but if you have internalized that we are on a small ship in a vast sea with no land in sight (that could be taking on water), issues like language, currency, time zone, and measurement pale in comparison (at least for me).

One other point worth mentioning, I view measurement, currency, etc. as “encodings” for information.  The high order bit for me is efficient information flow.  Moving to a standard encoding (think Unicode, etc.) for time, economic value, etc. would be a huge win.

I wonder if there is an “Adopt UTC” or “Adopt SI” groups out there, may be I should start my own group: “Spaceship Earth Foundation”.

Follow my thoughts about this (it is long causal chain)…

The solstice made me think of the Ancient of Days (below).

William Blake has been on my mind the last two days via Allen Ginsberg.

I read a wonderful Ginsberg quote from Andrew Sullivan yesterday that I think is apt for the winter solstice:

GINSBERG: Well, I had a sort of visionary experience in which I heard William Blake’s voice. It was probably an auditory hallucination, but it was a very rich experience.

LOFTON: This happened while you were masturbating, right?

GINSBERG: Yes, but after.

I also watched The Life and Times of Allen Ginsberg last night which reminded me of Kaddish:

Dreaming back thru life, Your time–and mine accelerating toward Apocalypse,

the final moment–the flower burning in the Day–and what comes after

All of which brings me back to winter solstice as death leads to rebirth.